At work, I've gotten into the habit of writing about what I'm doing, using Microsoft OneNote. I've found that to be quite helpful, partly as a way of keeping track of what I've done and what I'm planning to do, but mainly just as a way of thinking out loud. Sort of like talking to myself without disturbing my co-workers. So I think I'm going to try to post more here, as a way to process things that happen to me, and think about what I'm going to do about them. It doesn't really matter that nobody will read this. That's not the purpose.
A very interesting dulcimer lesson tonight. A couple of lessons ago, Tina asked me to pick out an up-tempo song to work on. I chose a medley of two reels from Maggie Sansone's
Mist and Stone book, "Bag of Spuds" and "Soldier's Return". I've been playing those reels for years, possibly since the time of my first dulcimer. But I play them very loudly and heavily, straining to put emphasis on every beat, and putting in the chords that were in the book, even though there wasn't really enough time for them. At least not for me to put them in. First, Tina had me drop the chords. Then, we worked for a long time on opening the tune. That is, instead of pounding every beat, only the first and third beats of each measure should be emphasized. That gives enough time to shape the phrasing. It's hard to change the way I think of the song, though. I'm so used to playing BUM-da-BUM-da throughout that switching to BUM-dun-Dun-dun-BUM-dun-Dun-dun is very hard. We were just working on the first couple of phrases, maybe eight measures. Suddenly, I played it correctly. The difference in feeling was remarkable! I had been fighting the song for years, and I wasn't fighting it any more! I'm not going to be able to play the song musically at tempo for a good while yet, but I can (I hope) remember what that felt like and try to get back there.
Another issue I'm struggling with is going to be a lot harder to conquer, I'm afraid. Last Saturday was a group lesson at Tiina's house. I tried to play Knocknagow Jig (also from
Mist & Stone). I started shaking, and I absolutely could not recover. I had no idea where I was in the song, and no idea what note came next. Since I want to be able to perform for people, this is seriously crippling. The solution is to know the piece you're playing very well, and to breathe. Breathing is the main thing. But this is a vicious circle. Being afraid that it will happen is going to make it more likely to happen.
